thats right i'm making it
unbelievable but i live
like a hermit crab, escaping
from the shell that held me in
like an eagle, i soar
shaken by nothing
my grin wide like long ago
the one i've forgotten to wear
there is no more fear
nor sorrow that can be traced
a morph from clay to rock
hardened by past i can forget
as my feet carry me onward
no force can contain me
you can look at me funny
all you like, but the truth is here.
I'm alive -- no more fear.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
stone-faced angels
as i close and open...
alive and broken..
my people turn on me
they hail it stupidity..
the actions i take
because i can't refuse
and deny and push
these unnerving images.
of the laughter, the smiles.
like hello's and goodbyes.
they haunt me non-stop
its not easy.
they talk as if they
know how it used to be like
when she used to be bonnie
and i was her clyde
but why do i dwell
foolishly on these thoughts
when i know that it will never
be the same as those days
she does not need me
she does not care
she does not call me
she's never there.
its always been me.
lunatic and part-martyr.
after a few days of stray
find myself thirst for her.
but it can't be the case.
or i'll fail myself further.
i must set sail.
and push my heart harder.
to cage itself in.
to forget her and flee.
from the feelings and emotions.
that i feel within me.
but what if they are right
and they aren't against me.
maybe God sent them here
to help set my heart free.
but why be so brutal?
why not share my sorrow
i feel strong and better now.
will it be the same tomorrow?
they will be there like braces
to hold me up when im weak
beautiful and cold
like empty spaces
my own stone faced angels
alive and broken..
my people turn on me
they hail it stupidity..
the actions i take
because i can't refuse
and deny and push
these unnerving images.
of the laughter, the smiles.
like hello's and goodbyes.
they haunt me non-stop
its not easy.
they talk as if they
know how it used to be like
when she used to be bonnie
and i was her clyde
but why do i dwell
foolishly on these thoughts
when i know that it will never
be the same as those days
she does not need me
she does not care
she does not call me
she's never there.
its always been me.
lunatic and part-martyr.
after a few days of stray
find myself thirst for her.
but it can't be the case.
or i'll fail myself further.
i must set sail.
and push my heart harder.
to cage itself in.
to forget her and flee.
from the feelings and emotions.
that i feel within me.
but what if they are right
and they aren't against me.
maybe God sent them here
to help set my heart free.
but why be so brutal?
why not share my sorrow
i feel strong and better now.
will it be the same tomorrow?
they will be there like braces
to hold me up when im weak
beautiful and cold
like empty spaces
my own stone faced angels
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
360
i gaze at the clock and wait
wait as it ticks and moves slowly
completing its rotation in a full 360
wait as time flies wasted as nothing goes down
because now you are gone
and nowhere to be found.
a deep cut heals as time ticks by
and the bird slowly lifts his head up
and with eager wings and what looks to be a smile
he flies high.
as if no longer bothered
by a stinging goodbye..
his stubborn mind will be conditioned
but his fragile heart will lie
he can forget temporarily
when he tries to fly..
without you he might die, but he will do his best and try.
to push back tears,
learn to survive...
and forever cease to cry.
i sit here now, and patiently wait
wait as the world spins daily
spins and completes a revolution
slowly... in a full 360.
wait as days and nights go by, with nothing significant
nothing worth telling, or noting, or knowing
only your presence has significance.
your love worth everything.
your face worth telling.
your voice worth noting.
your kiss worth knowing.
what power it would be
to make time tick back
to make the world spin
the other way... in a full 360.
so that the bird can experience everything
about you that he has now lost.
because to him you are truly, lovely.
because you were his better half.
you used to complete him
what he lacked, you made up for.
together you formed... a 360.
to turn back time would be miraculous
impossible.
only hope keeps him alive.
hope that in the future.
there will come a 360.
in which you will realize that the bird exists.
and his wings will not falter.
he will push for 270.. all he needs is your 90..
to complete and restore.. his longed 360.
wait as it ticks and moves slowly
completing its rotation in a full 360
wait as time flies wasted as nothing goes down
because now you are gone
and nowhere to be found.
a deep cut heals as time ticks by
and the bird slowly lifts his head up
and with eager wings and what looks to be a smile
he flies high.
as if no longer bothered
by a stinging goodbye..
his stubborn mind will be conditioned
but his fragile heart will lie
he can forget temporarily
when he tries to fly..
without you he might die, but he will do his best and try.
to push back tears,
learn to survive...
and forever cease to cry.
i sit here now, and patiently wait
wait as the world spins daily
spins and completes a revolution
slowly... in a full 360.
wait as days and nights go by, with nothing significant
nothing worth telling, or noting, or knowing
only your presence has significance.
your love worth everything.
your face worth telling.
your voice worth noting.
your kiss worth knowing.
what power it would be
to make time tick back
to make the world spin
the other way... in a full 360.
so that the bird can experience everything
about you that he has now lost.
because to him you are truly, lovely.
because you were his better half.
you used to complete him
what he lacked, you made up for.
together you formed... a 360.
to turn back time would be miraculous
impossible.
only hope keeps him alive.
hope that in the future.
there will come a 360.
in which you will realize that the bird exists.
and his wings will not falter.
he will push for 270.. all he needs is your 90..
to complete and restore.. his longed 360.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
screw it.
always thought that you and me would last
you turn your back on everything we shared in the past
i'm back the way i was before you came and changed me
an explicit motherfucker ready to kill if needed be
the memories are painful
enough to make me tremble
thought about it so hard, yesterday it made me stumble
in the snow where i was cold and alone but its' been worse
spyin' his car parked by your crib makes me curse
should never have let you get that close to me
it doesn't even bother you that we're through. you look happy.
a line of dickwads assembled in a row to please you
deep inside you know that to me they can't compare to.
how lucky, how cute that things are going really swell.
my life is just a shy away from living in hell.
nothing's goin' my way: school, work, and even you
everything's lost... i hate the shit you put me through.
you turn your back on everything we shared in the past
i'm back the way i was before you came and changed me
an explicit motherfucker ready to kill if needed be
the memories are painful
enough to make me tremble
thought about it so hard, yesterday it made me stumble
in the snow where i was cold and alone but its' been worse
spyin' his car parked by your crib makes me curse
should never have let you get that close to me
it doesn't even bother you that we're through. you look happy.
a line of dickwads assembled in a row to please you
deep inside you know that to me they can't compare to.
how lucky, how cute that things are going really swell.
my life is just a shy away from living in hell.
nothing's goin' my way: school, work, and even you
everything's lost... i hate the shit you put me through.
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